I woke up today with the resolve to take better care of myself…
- Living within my means.
- Doing my share of housework.
- Applying for jobs daily.
- Mindful walking daily.
So far it has been a lot of work. It feels like multitasking.
Before I always wanted to be like Elon Musk and focus on running a business. Then maybe I could pay someone to clean the house and just eat out at restaurants for lunch and dinner.
One thing life has taught me though is that having unrealistic expectations of yourself can lead to disappointment.
Ever since I got out of psychiatric hospital 6-7 years ago I have pretty much expected myself to be a successful entrepreneur. To think big and to back it up with focus and hard work.
Life has humbled me in this time.
Expecting yourself to be the consummate entrepreneur and saying no to everything mediocre might work for some people. It hasn’t worked for me – I have achieved very little over the past 6-7 years.
It might sound like disappointment. But I consider it progress because wanting to be mr perfect entrepreneur was wanting to make up for my inherent unworthiness.
I feel like I always had these plans to be great so I said no to good things. But I never really approached greatness. I never scaled a startup, became “the king of Melbourne” or landed a beautiful girlfriend.
In fact the most I accomplished was having a remote job for 1-2 years which empowered me to go overseas for a month or two.
It’s still hard for me to tell but it seems that there is a difference between authentically being great and believing yourself to be destined for greatness and thereby expecting greatness of yourself.
I am starting to think that greatness is necessarily built on a solid foundation of goodness.