I feel that I am opening a new chapter in life. And that necessarily means finishing the previous chapter.
In the previous chapter I was desperately trying to achieve greatness in every area of life all at once:
- Trying to become a billionaire
- Trying to meditate for 10,000 hours
- Trying to become fit and strong like an athlete
- Trying to be attractive to all women
- Trying to become the “king of Melbourne”
It’s curious thing. I feel that I can look back with new perspective. And the past few years, although I haven’t felt sad per se, haven’t been a happy time.
I have expected so much of myself.
I don’t know why I have been so messed up in my life. Such a train wreck, mentally. I suppose if anyone is to blame it’s my parents – they are dealing with their own problems.
I feel like it’s going to be different now though. How? Why?
I feel that I have insight into my own psychology. I have developed a hard-won perspective into what my true motivations are.
Because my biggest problem over the last few years has been desperately wanting to achieve greatness in all areas and particularly in building a business – but being unable to execute any of my plans. Constantly pivoting to the next shiny object.
I now realise a few things:
- That was unbalanced and not very enjoyable
- Achieving greatness was not what I valued in my heart of hearts
What I really wanted by joining the global elite was harmony. I wanted to feel that I was accepted by people without judgement – or at least that I was insulated from their judgement by a few levels of social status.
How does one achieve harmony? It’s an almost impossible question. It’s what great leaders inspire – like Elon Musk or Donald Trump. Or Jesus Christ.
Perhaps one can build harmony on a smaller scale though. For example in your circle of friends or in your business’s community.
How does one achieve harmonious relationships? Well, probably not by being several levels of social status above them. It’s more to do with:
- Balance – giving and taking
- Mutual respect
- Shared goals or values
Perhaps being in the global elite is not God’s plan for me – although I still believe that is my destiny. For now he just wants me to be ok living a simple life.